I don't know why, may be because I am not really good in direct communication I prefer to write here than talking to people around me. Sometimes talking to people annoyed me, without any reason, it annoy me. Funny right? I am a weird person after all. Don't be surprised if next time I give you a fact that conclude I am really a weird person. I am not really an introvert either thou, I need people of course. I'll be mad if people ignore me. Because of that, I don't really like people to talk to me, I worry if I will ignore them, and get them mad without knowing. That's how I live my life.
Suddenly, I want to talk about my self, about my story. It doesn't matter if you think my posting is childish. I just need a media to give all my heart out, since I cant do it in my real life.
I know everyone have their own story. And I am the main character in my own life. By the way I got that quote from a korean drama, it give me a big impression. Then I am starting to think about my life more. I am suddenly regretting, this my story, I am the main character, I am the producer, I am the writer, and what have I done exactly as all that role.
As a writer I don't really write a good story. I often write a scenario where the main character always do useless thing, always regretting, always stressing, always disappointing, always getting mad, sensitive and always having negative thinking.
As a producer, why cant I make this story good? I mean, I am the producer why do I always do what the writer said? Yeah, as producer I am really bad because I let my work become a bad one.
And as the main character, I am really good, I am doing all the act exactly like what the writer wrote. I act best when it come to regretting or doing useless thing. But really I pity my self for doing that character well. Those bad character, I act it very well, until it become my real personality.
Since I went to college, I don't know how many times I regretted something, how many times I was disappointing someone, how many times I did useless and hateful things, how many times I stressed about something and tell I hate my own self.
But one day, the naughty me who check instagram everyday even in exam week, found a really good quote. Its from g-dragon instagram, a member of bigbang, a korean boy group. He posted that quote on his account. He said the tips for us TO BE HAPPY. I think he found it on google, but who cares.
Its not exactly what is written there, but this is what it said :
IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY, DECIDE EVERY MORNING THAT YOU ARE IN A GOOD MOOD.
Then I asked my self.
'Do you want to be happy?'
I answered.
'Of course, who doesn't want?'
I asked again.
'Then why are you always like that?'
'What do you mean?'
'Regretting, stressing, and those bad characters you acted.'
'Then what should I do?'
'Just be happy! Then all will be alright.'
'Do you think I am not happy because I want to. If it was that easy to be happy, I will not act those hurting character ever again since long ago.'
'You are funny.'
'What? You think my life is funny? I am hardly live my life and you take my life as a joke?'
'Don't forget babe, I am you. You are the one who makes all of this funny. You want to be happy, but what, all of you do is
unhappy. Just be happy, as simple as that. Happy is simple, as long as you decide to be happy, you'll be happy.'
I don't know why I wrote that drama. Its kinda embarrassing. But it's really what happened in my empty brain.
Yeah since then, I realized how important to be happy is. All of hardship in your life will be gone as long as you think positive about that.
I don't have to regret, because I am doing my best right now.
I don't have to disappointing anyone, include my self, because I am doing my best right now.
I don't have to be stressed about anything, because I am doing my best with a veeery positive thought.
I don't have to do useless thing, because those useless thing will I change to be useful.
I am doing my best right now and I am happy about it.
I decided to be happy.
A the main character, I decided to get away from that writer scenario.
As the producer, I decided to change the writer as well, to be a happy one.
As a writer, I will write many happy scenario.
As a person, I will be a happy one.
On my 105th day as a college student, finally I decide to be happy.
Please remind me of this commitment, everytime I am down.
Please remind me of this commitment, everytime I am in a bad mood.
Please remind me, anytime I forget to be happy.
Anyway thank you so much for reading my story till the end.
See you next time.
I hope you will find your happiness.
Search for it, until you you say 'I am happy' with smile all over you face.
"Happy is a simple emotion. If you decide to be happy, in that moment you will be happy.."
~Taerin Shin~
